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I very much appreciate John Cohn setting up this website and now, enabling the blog. The breakfasts in Newton are great to make an initial connection…and maintain contact w/ FF. With the growing size of the breakfasts, we’re hoping that this blog can also support discussion …of the many topics, interests, and challenges that FF men uniquely face… so, here it begins…wherever it leads, it’s good not to be on the journey alone.

This is my first passage for the Fathers Forever Blog. I find it difficult to put into words what life is like 4 years after our son Andrew passed away. There is so much to say but the words often come up short. My hope is that I find ways to use this blog to express what life is like as a father, husband and man so that it helps me in my journey and helps those around me who have their own loss. More to come…

Very much appreciate Bella’s thoughtful article. I hope that it serves to reach out to other fathers and that FF can grow to provide understanding fellowship, conversation, and even friendship to those bound by life’s most challenging loss. With added talent and initiative, it’s my hope that we can do much more for each other, our families, and ourselves. For me, time spent with FF is something I always look forward to; I hope it can be that way for many more. Craig

I’m struck by the depth of the relationships I’ve made thru Fathers Forever — with men who, but for our respective tragedies, I probably never would have met or had anything in common with. Chalk it up to life’s strange twists and turns… -David Domeshek

Ah, another Fathers Day. For me, it’s now bittersweet; the painful stab has dulled to a sting, and I’m more focused on what I have (including happy memories) than what (who) I lost — though that’s not far from my heart and mind. Of course it’s different for everybody, so wherever you are this Fathers Day — emotionally and geographically — my thoughts are with you. Hope you can find some peace.

Greetings. I’ve decided to join you as a member of Fathers Forever, and I look forward to meeting each of you. When talking with Craig and hearing him describe this blog, it reminded me of something I wanted very much to do after Susan (my wife) and I lost Warren in 1987. Between my being in the magazine publishing industry, my passion for it, and my great need and desire for pouring out my feelings and thoughts over the loss of our first child, I envisioned a magazine titled

My father passed away three days ago. Included in the many thoughts and feelings that come with grieving this loss, I’m pondering what kind of father he was and the kind of father I am and want to be. I want to be sure to reflect the finest qualities of love: patient; kind; not proud; not rude; not self-seeking; not easily angered; cheers what is true; always protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres. To be sure, I learned a lot from my father. And just as sure, I learned a lot

As I’m grieving the recent loss of my father, I see how the grieving process is different among various family members. Susan, my wife, is grieving differently than I am, and it reminds me of the significant differences in how and when we grieved after Warren died. I try to take a “no fear” approach to grieving. I’m honest and open with the pain and all that comes with it. Susan has a delayed reaction and a slower process approach, which she sees and acknowledges. I saw this

Steve’s comment to “Grieving At My Own Pace” reflects how vastly different two people can grieve the same loss. I read in his words and in his tone something I have come to find an important quality in how spouses grieve “together.” In a word: respect. It’s important that I respect the way my wife grieves. It’s very important to me that she respects the way I grieve, too. The respect provides in its own way messages of courtesy, honor, and a regard that emulates love.

First, I invite you to read Chris’ wonderfully open and insightful comment to “Grieving At My Own Pace” before reading this. Yes, our culture has for a long time and still says to men, “Don’t cry. Be strong.” This destructive message and pressure flies in the very opposite direction of how we (all humans) are made: to release all emotion, whether it’s laughter because of joy or tears because of pain. Between 1996 and 2000 I went through my fourth, fifth and sixth knee operati

As October got nearer and nearer I thought about what would I do on the 20th, the first anniversary of my daughter Stephanies death last year at age 24. I wanted to do something, but a special event doesn't suit my personality, nor what Stephanie would have wanted. My older son Tim has grieved at his pace only going to the cemetery 8 months after the funeral with his young family as a side trip. In my own manly manner I was not going to let a calendar day force me to grieve

Mourning is not forgetting… It is an undoing. Every minute tie has to be untied and something permanent and valuable recovered and assimilated from the dust. The end is gain, of course. Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be made strong, in fact. But the process is like all other human births, painful and long and dangerous. – Margery Allingh am, The Tiger in the Smoke

At dictionary.com, HOPE is defined as “the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best…” How much is HOPE in your vocabulary? What do you HOPE for? What do you get out of HOPING?

Hello Everyone- This Wednesday will mark the 5th observance of my son Eric’s sudden and tragic death at the hands of a drunk driver. He was a freshman in college, home for Thanksgiving, and three weeks shy of his 19th birthday. He was a passenger in the right-rear seat of a car driven by one of his high school friends who was legally drunk(.12% blood alcohol level), and stoned. The car was traveling at a hideous rate of speed when the driver lost control, went into a 180 deg

Consider all the ways we act on the sorrow and the loss. We mourn. We make decisions about various things surrounding the loss, and act on them. As I read Joe’s post, I noticed a number of actions. He and his wife sought counseling. He acts on his day by day determination. He and his family have turned their grief into something positive. What actions have you taken, and what have they meant to you?

This week Natasha would have turned 16. It’s the eighth time we’ve celebrated her birthday without her. Each year on Dec. 17 we host a group of her friends and their families at the local Chinese restaurant for dinner. I look forward to these gatherings — even though they are bittersweet — because they give me an opportunity to picture Natasha at whatever age her friends are now, to see how they look and interact (with each other, their parents and other adults) and imagin

“Feelings are the internal reactions generated by our own interpretations of people, events and life experiences.” –William J. McKay

Yesterday I saw part of an interview on either CNN or Fox News. The father of a young woman who died…this past year or two…said he gets a lot out of telling a story about his daughter, especially telling one during the holiday season which is a particularly painful time. He said something like, “Do a favor to a father who has lost a child by asking him to tell a story about him or her.” I invite you to think about and tell a story. Comment here or write a post if you’d like,

Just a thought… I’m working with a client on developing a new strategic plan. They need one for a variety of reasons, including that so much of what they are doing is reacting to what comes at them day after day. Similarly, I know I often react to thoughts and feelings related to my losses. But what if I planned ahead? What if I anticipated in such a way that I intend to care for and navigate those thoughts and feelings which I know will come again and again. For my client, t

“We deceive ourselves when we fancy that only weakness needs support. Strength needs it far more.”— Sophie Swetchine